Politics:
So I hear that Hamas have won a large majority in Palestine. Despite this being probably a bad thing (although I hope not), I did find it quite fun to hear the American reaction "Everyone should have democracy, as long as you vote in the right people". Terrorists should follow the lingerie trend set by the Basque Seperatists. 'Pantie Idealists', for example. Or 'The Taffetta Brigade'.

Jobs:
I still haven't found a new job, I watched a bit of a programme about fasion people competing to create the best outfit, I'm pretty sure I could learn that. All it seems you need to do is camp it up a bit and sew in the dark (as those people seem to have done).

We went to town at the weekend and found a shop which had fabulously beautiful corsets and skirts, all costing the same amount as my car. I decided not to try any on, it wasn't so much the embarresed pause I expect to receive from suggesting this to the shop keeper but more that I feared none would fit my spherical figure (all were in size 10 and I'm sadly a 16). This would add to the hilarity of the spectical of me in drag and I feared might attract a gathering of shoppers who'd either make a mess on the pavement wetting themselves or begin to stone me (not in a fun way).

Judo:
Possibly tonight we earn our yellow belts. I shall let you know, dear reader, how we get on. I very much hope Amiya (my girlfriend) doesn't get her belt and I remain a junior Yellow. Call it competetive if you like, but someone's got to wear the trousers. Neither of us perhaps, but I'm sure someone does.

I've learned that:
Matte = Stop
Hajimi = Go
Latte = Coffee
Paté = Wrong

Toilets:
Sorry to lower the tone, but I wanted to share a little something with you. No no.. panic ye not, it's nothing filthy. Well, only a little bit.
The other day I popped into the loo and heard from the next cubical some guys mobile phone ring, to my consternation he answered it!
I therefore felt it my civic duty to parp loudly and clearly. This did nothing to deter him, so I continued to wee right in the middle of the loo making loud splishy splashy noises. Nope, he carried on as if he frequently farts down the phone at people (which perhaps he does). Finally even the flushing of my loo did nothing to stop this guy and so I gave up.

Anyhoo my lovelies, I really must dash. The internet isn't gonna surf itself you know!

Thanks for listening

Will
xxx