Yep, this is it, I've given up the booze. So far it's been one evening in counting, impressive eh? I'm trying for two, but one step at a time eh?

This is a vain hope that somehow this will help to the ridding myself of my beer gut. I reckon I've got enough beer in there to last me for a while, but just in case my blood alcohol content of 50% proof should get me through the day.

I was kind of hoping that the extra alcohol content of my blood might attract Selene from Underworld (the lovely Kate), but since she hasn't turned up for weeks now (ever since I gave her alcohol poisoning) I think cutting down is the best option. Anyway, I kept getting Dracula stuffing me in a brown paper bag and dragging me around park benches. Decrepit old has-been.

Being a vampire doesn't sound like such a bad thing, they're always attractive, live forever and can turn into small flying animals. I have a sneaking suspicion that if I ever did become a vampire fate would play one of those tricks it seems to be keen on and the animal I'd turn into would be a beaver. An evil beaver, mind you. Possibly armed with a tiny rifle (or trifle as I like to call it).

We didn't get our yellow belts; the guy who organises the classes unfortunately didn't bring in the forms. So I settled with getting the crap beaten out of me by a bunch of girls. I naturally preserve my ego by pretending that I let them win; "goodness me! Good throw young lady", "you're learning quickly my dear" I say magnanimously. They seem to take these words of encouragement to mean, "you're a big fanny" and "break my legs".
I also fought a pair of 17-year-old lads, not at the same time obviously, I like to give them a chance. Age counts for nothing in the arena it seems, there’s just no respect in the youth of today. They also floored me with amazing speed and agility. I’ll have my revenge though, next week I’ll wear platform shoes with lead heals, see if you can throw me NOW you buggers!

I’ve bought a new audio book, the first in the series of ‘Black Magician’ books by Trudi Canavan. Very good series of books, highly recommend them. I love fantasy novels, and this series is the best one I’ve read. I’ve always loved having stories read to me since I was a kid and my father used to read to me, he’s very good at it. I still wake up to Radio 4 every morning after going to sleep with some play or spoken word.

That's all folks!

...and hey, lets be careful out there

Will